Morels and Brad Paisley

You'd think that after living in Wisconsin for over 8 years I would have at least tried Morel mushrooms, but until yesterday you would have been wrong. Since moving to Wisconsin I have tried many new things: Snowmobiling, ATV's, shotgun sports, driving without road-rage, drunk dialing, landing on snow and ice covered runways, hunting various animals, dodging students in the road at UW, divorce, marriage, camping, and leaving my house unlocked. But I never ate a Morel mushroom. After all, they don't exactly look appetizing and grow wild up here in the grossest of places.

Yesterday was the day. We went to Missy's mom's house for Mother's Day and they had just picked some fresh Morels and were eager to fry them up. I was a bit nervous to eat one, since it looks gross, like something you might find growing on a coral reef when scuba diving. Ahh, but looks can be deceiving. These things are friggin' awesome! After tasting a super-small one, I could hardly keep my hand out of the mushroom jar! Randy then told me to be careful how many I ate, since there is apparently some point where your body will reject them. It's kinda like knowing when you should have that last beer, where one more ounce will leave you clinging for life and hugging the porcelain god. I did not reach that point, but I guess I will have to someday, just so I know where that point is.

I might get my chance tonight. While Halle and I were enjoying lunch at Shelton's, a guy came in with way too many of these. Seems he had quite a Morel hunting, and had much more than he could eat or even sell. He gave us a box of them, as well as Joleene the bartender. Missy will be surprised when she gets home, or before if she reads this blog!

And special thank go out to Brad Paisley, for writing the perfect "Todd Song".

When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnics
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You're probably thinking that you're going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up oh but no matter what
remember I'm still a guy

When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I'd like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
And in a weak moment I might...
walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I'm still a guy

I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, "Yeah girls he's come a long way"
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club
And building a fire in a cave
But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, now what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I'm still a guy

And I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

These days there's dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can't grip a tacklebox

Yeah with all of these men lining up to get neutered
It's hip now to be feminized
I don't highlight my hair
I've still got a pair
Yeah honey, I'm still a guy

Oh my eyebrows ain't plucked
There's a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I'm still a guy

A Trip to the Mall

Over the weekend, I had the pleasure of eating dinner at West Town Mall. Oh the joy, nothing quite like enjoying a Taco Bell meal while dining with the teenage freaks of Madison. I wanted Mexican food, thinking either Laredo's, Mi Cocina, or Abuelos. Nope, Taco Bell at the Food Court was the best I could coax out of Missy and Halle. I am beginning to think the only time I will ever get Mexican food is when Missy and I travel to Mexico. God forbid I ever get the craving for Italian or good Chinese food!

I did get to look at some big LCD TV's that I cannot afford, so that was kinda fun. Halle, with help from Missy, talked me into spending $170 on Rock Band for the XBox 360. I didn't really want it, we already have Guitar Hero 3 on the Wii and Guitar Hero 2 on the XBox, but I said it was okay. I should have made that conditional on getting some real Mexican food.

So, back to the dining experience at the Food Court. It was delicious, and I had plenty of freaks of nature to look at. I don't say anything out loud about them when Halle is around, and even when she isn't, Missy usually doesn't appreciate my comments about other freaks, err, people. So I just make funny comments in my less and less tolerant head, enjoying my own sick form of humor while eating that truly wonderful taco. Where is the meat? The cheese? I bet they use at least a 1/2 pound of beef at Taco Bell every day.

So we are eating, I am watching a 6 foot-something teenage boy with dyed black hair with blond streaks hitting on a cute pink-haired girl. Between them they probably had enough piercings to sink a ship, the dude was wearing more makeup than the girl. I chuckled to myself, thinking how much fun it was at that age. I never did the hair and makeup thing as a teenager, but spent the mid-80's in a weed induced coma. I was no better than these kids, just different. Had I dressed like that boy in 1986 in North Carolina I would probably have been killed. Of course, back then I dressed either like Rob Halford from Judas Priest, or Don Johnson from Miami Vice, on alternating days. The mullet was ever present, as were the bloodshot eyes from the pot. Funny, I actually thought my parents didn't know :) Stupid boy I was. No, not stupid, just being a kid, same as this freak sitting across from me. Unlike me, this kid probably has a 4.0 GPA and will be at UW Madison next year! The girl will likely be President of the United States someday. I gotta find a way to see the world different.

I am smart enough to realize my own prejudices, but not smart enough to not have them. Missy is much better at this than me, she seems to not see color, ethnicity, sexual orientation or anything else about a person. This is one of her traits that I truly admire and respect, though I don't have this ability.

I do agree with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I judge a man by the content of his character and not the color of his skin. My brother-in-law is black, and is also one of my best friends. We enjoy losing money together at Ho-Chunk Casino, and are both technology junkies. It's funny, when I first met him I saw him as a black man, married to a white woman, with mixed kids. This is something that I have struggled with in the past, and really, it makes no sense at all.

I have known them for a while now, and I don't think about him being black, or the kids being mixed, they are just handsome little boys. They are in the process of adopting a biracial girl now, and she is the cutest little girl you'd ever meet. Biracial. That is a new word for me, thanks to Missy, and it does sound better than mixed, milato, or zebra. Those are words that I grew up with. None were meant to be derogatory, other than maybe zebra, which was used by George Jefferson on TV, but compared to biracial, they could certainly be taken as racist.

I am far from politically correct, but not a racist. So if I say mixed or milato every now and then, it is not because I am a white-trash cracker, it is simply because that is the vernacular that I am accustomed to. What I really cannot stand is the term "African-American", "Mexican-American", etc. I realize those are the politically correct terms in common use today, I just don't like them. For one, if I am white, then you are black. And I am not really white, I am sort of pinkish-tan with a hint of red. Do I require that other people refer to me as pinkish-tan with a hint of red? Of course not, white will do. If I wanted to get super politically correct I would want to be called Anglo-Saxon-Native-American, but just plain old American will be just fine. So I am a white American. If you call me honky or cracker it is not likely to bother me, but of course it depends on who says it, and the context of how they say it, but not the color of their skin. I my eyes you are either an American or you aren't, there is no in-between.

American by definition means you are a mutt. We are all mutts. Unless you are a true native American (as in indian), you are descended from immigrants from other parts of the world. So it's time to drop the African, Mexican, French, Canadian, whatever prefix before American. The prefix is divisive, and usually flat out wrong. If your most recent relative from Africa died 200 years ago, you are not African any more than I am English. I don't claim England as my home, I've never even been there, and won't miss much if I never go.

I am an American and I am proud of that. I am proud that it is looking like in November we will elect our first biracial president. I hear a lot on the news about Obama being African-American. See above, and please just quit it. He is brown with a pinkish hue, hell half of him is from Kansas. His wife Michelle? She is just plain old Hot-American.

Jodi Klare Will Always Be Our Crystal Apple Award Winner

It seems NBC 15 in Madison almost got it right!

Each year the Madison NBC affiliate holds a contest to recognize the best teachers in the area. Missy and I nominated Halle's 3rd grade teacher, Jodi Klare, for this award in April because of how much love and caring she showed to Halle (and indeed all of us) following the death of Halle's father in a February snowmobile accident. Jodi is an excellent teacher and we love her.

We did our best to help her win the award by writing a heartfelt letter along with our nomination entry. Jodi did not win the award, but was given an Honorable Mention on the news last night and will be invited, along with Park Elementary Principal Karen Jones, to an awards and recognition dinner later this month. Jodi is a wonderful teacher and a sweet, caring and all around terrific person. She will always be our Crystal Apple Award winner, as well as part of our family.

Here is an edited version of the nomination letter we submitted:

To whom it may concern,

We are writing this letter to nominate Jodi Klare at Park Elementary School in Cross Plains for the Crystal Apple award. I (Todd) have known Jodi for a couple of years and always thought she was one of the finest teachers I have ever met. We have 3 daughters that attend Park Elementary, 9 year old Delaney who had Mrs. Klare 2 years ago, my step-daughter Halle who is currently in Mrs. Klare’s 3^rd grade class and 6 year old Haley who we sincerely hope will also be in her class in 2 years.

Our family’s interaction with Jodi this year is what has prompted us to nominate her for this award. We can think of nobody possibly more deserving of this award than Jodi. The past year has been full of highs and lows for our family, and Jodi has made a huge impact in our lives through the good and bad. Before we get to the specifics of why we think Jodi is most deserving of this award, please allow us to provide just a little family background.

As stated above, Halle is my 9 year old step-daughter. I hate the word “step-anything” so I refer to her as my daughter in the same way that Delaney and Haley are my daughters. Her mother Melissa (Missy) and I were married in July 2007. Missy and Halle previously lived in Mazomanie where Halle attended Mazomanie Elementary, so after the wedding they moved into my home in Cross Plains. Halle had to change schools and started attending Park Elementary this school year, and fortunately for us, was placed in Jodi’s 3^rd grade class.

Changing schools is difficult for any child, and Halle was no different. On the first day of school Jodi introduced Halle to the class and during recess made sure that Halle was paired up with other kids to play with. This, combined with her new sisters also being at Park Elementary, helped to make this transition as easy as possible, though it was very difficult for Halle.

Halle is a terrific student and is very smart and mature for her age. We received regular updates from Jodi about how Halle was adjusting to her new school, new friends, new family, and just about everything else that was new or different in her life. Jodi shared with us the stories that Halle would tell and write about in her journal, her artwork that often included the new family, and other interesting and amusing things Halle did with Jodi. She also shared all of this with Halle’s biological father, Michael Gullickson, by making parent-teacher conferences regarding Halle’s progress available to Mike as well. Halle loves Jodi, and the reverse is also true, as we found out through a tragedy that would take place during the winter.

Halle loved her father deeply. He had not been a significant part of her life for the first 5 years, but the last 3 he really shined. He grew up, took a strong and sincere interest in his daughter, loved and cherished her. And she loved him, as did everyone that met him, including me. As possibly the one person that should never have liked him, I did, a lot, he was a good man. Not without faults, but a good and decent man.

One of Halle’s favorite things to do was to ride snowmobiles with her dad. He had a modest home with a large yard in Ridgeway and when the snow started flying in December he started teaching her to ride a small snowmobile he had bought for her. He taught her about safety, bought her a proper helmet, and made sure she could handle the snowmobile. She rode with him on his sled a lot until she got the hang of it. They never went on the trails, just kept it in the yard, but she loved it. And he loved watching her, and taking pictures of his “Little Princess” riding. The pride oozed out of him. In early February, Missy went to pick Halle up at her dads and Halle gave her a ride on the snowmobile. Mike laughed and took pictures the whole time, he loved it.

Mike was killed in a head-on snowmobile accident in Blue Mounds on February 20^th, 2008. Now the little girl that loved her dad and snowmobiles so much had to be told that her father was killed in a snowmobile accident. This was the hardest thing that Missy and I had ever done in our lives. Once an image like that gets into a child’s head, it does not want to leave. She has good and bad days, but every night at bed time has to relive that horrible news.

But back to Jodi Klare, and why we feel there is absolutely no doubt why she is the hands down winner of the Crystal Apple Award. We always knew Jodi was a wonderful teacher, but following the death of Halle’s dad, she proved it, going WAY beyond the scope of her job and deeply touching Halle, and us.

Immediately upon being notified of the news, the sweet and caring gears in Jodi’s mind must have gone to work. The first surprise came 2 days later. Jodi and the school counselor had made a delicious (and that does not do it justice) chicken and pesto dinner and hand-delivered it to our home. Our lives were in a chaotic state, and this relatively simple act of kindness proved to us that good and decent people very much exist in this world, at least in Cross Plains, Wisconsin.

A couple days later was Mike’s funeral in Blue Mounds. We knew this would be an extraordinarily difficult day for everyone, mostly Halle. The church was overflowing, much more than capacity, a true testament to all of the people who loved Mike. Members of various motorcycle gangs/clubs were there, family, extended family, friends, businessmen, criminals and clergy. And there was Jodi, with the school counselor by her side. Halle’s eyes lit up when she saw Jodi, and a very sad little girl gave her the biggest smile. The loved that flowed in both directions was unmistakable. Her mere presence made this day so much better for Halle, and everyone else.

Halle missed almost 2 weeks of school following her father’s death. It was made even harder because on March 9^th, she turned 9, and her father had made big plans for her golden birthday, including a trip to Appleton to the American Doll company. During this time, Jodi kept Halle as much up to date as she could. She regularly checked in with us, and brought homework to our home so that Halle would not fall behind. Halle is a very good student and appreciated this; she actually enjoyed doing her work.

Before Halle returned to school, Jodi asked us what the class should be told about Halle’s absence, and how much they should be told. We all agreed that the truth was the best, and Jodi told the rest of the class about the accident and that Halle’s father had been killed. Her class welcomed her back and everyone was very kind and understanding, no doubt a testament to how Jodi instructed the class about the circumstances.

Even though Halle had been able to keep up with her homework thanks to Jodi, she was still a little behind on the things that were taught in class while she was out. Following a parent-teacher conference with Missy and me, Jodi offered to let Halle stay after school for private lessons, and let Halle do it on her schedule, as her emotional state allowed. Since Jodi also lives in Cross Plains (and surely even if she didn’t), she offered to give Halle a ride home after school. Since I work at home, this was not needed, but was just another reason why she is such a tremendous teacher.

Halle took her up on this offer, and stayed late after school for several days. Jodi and Halle also worked together during recess to get her caught up. We can only assume that this means Jodi gave up some valuable recovery time from a bunch of crazy 3^rd graders in the teachers’ lounge! But she did, and we love her for it. Within a week or so, on a day I was to pick up Halle late from school, Jodi called me to tell me they were all caught up and Halle was doing great. She would ride the bus home.

The PTA of Park Elementary also raised $750 in US Savings Bonds that were given to Halle. They will be used for her college education, and we have no doubt that Jodi was instrumental in getting this ball rolling. Everyone at Park Elementary is terrific, and we are blessed to live in this town where our children get this level of love and care.

I wrote a letter to the school principal, Mrs. Jones, praising Jodi for her love and caring, not to mention her teaching skills. We were not surprised in the slightest when Mrs. Jones wrote me back in total agreement. It seems we are not the first parents that have such high regards for Jodi.

Jodi is the physical embodiment of what a great and wonderful teacher should be. She is the kind of teacher that any parent and any child would dream of having. We wish we could cast 1,000,000 votes for her in your contest. This quality of person is very hard to find, and when that person is your daughter’s teacher, what more could you ask for? We know what we will ask for. When our youngest daughter get’s to 3^rd grade you can bet we will beg and plead with the powers that be that she be enrolled in Jodi Klare’s class!

Please don’t let this quality of teacher escape without recognition. We cannot provide enough accolades to convey exactly what Jodi has done for our family, and have certainly left out many smaller things she does every day. I was never fortunate enough to have had a teacher like this in my life, and I doubt many children do, but the kids of Cross Plains have a true friend and are very lucky that teachers like Jodi Klare do still exist in this world. She is truly worthy of your award, and we can think of none other more deserving.

We Will Wait

Today, or maybe yesterday, marked the official end of our contract on the home. The mortgage broker (RLCA) totally failed us, refusing to go to bat for us with the bogus Landsafe appraisal. We had signed a 1-week extension last week for the appraisal to be adjusted, but this is not going to happen. So now we are back to square one. I was originally thinking we would wait another year to purchase a home, but I feel confident we can still make a purchase this year, probably in late summer or early fall. This will give us time to get our finances in even better shape.

Once again, the credit cards are paid off. I get a big smile inside myself whenever we do this, though it seems we still manage to find things to spend the money on. Last time it was our dog Thunder, who got so dehydrated we had to take him to the vet. He spent the night there, got some fluids, and $700 later we got our great dog back. He is officially worth 7 times what I paid for him! But we love him.

I am the financial planner in the family, and I don't mind this job. I even find it sort of fun, in a somewhat sick way, and have taken to watching The Suze Orman show on CNBC. I can't wait to start getting into more investments in the near future, but high-interest debts need to be taken care of first. The credit cards were the worst, so that is the big thing to avoid now that they are paid off. Almost as evil as them is government.

I used to do some contract programming work back in 2003 and 2004 and failed to account for all income. It was not intentional, my records keeping back then was less than perfect. So I owe Wisconsin about $2k, the IRS about 3k and Missy still owes Maryland about $4k. So the plans for the immediate future include paying off Wisconsin in a couple weeks, and Maryland in the next month or two. The IRS will probably wait until tax refund time next year, or another economic incentive package to help take out more of that balance. As each one is paid off, we have more money each month because we no longer make payments to them, and the 18% interest stops adding up. I would even like to pay off my truck, which is entirely possible, but only if we don't buy a house. We would rather have a house.

I find myself dreaming of a debt-free day. I don't mean mortgage or auto loan free, those will almost certainly always be there. But free of credit card and tax debt, and having just one car loan instead of two. I just don't like clouds like that hanging over my head, and would much rather be making money off interest in investments than paying it. Am I getting old?

Nope, I refuse to grow up. Years of struggling with finances and many months of working very hard to pay off credit card debt, collections and other "issues" on our credit reports was rewarded today. I broke down and bought a Microsoft XBox 360 and Grand Theft Auto IV, for the family of course :) Actually, it will be used mostly to simplify our TV entertainment center, something I will blog about later. The Grand Theft Auto IV is for me, when I feel the need to lose my freakin' mind and mindlessly indulge in hookers, drugs, stealing crap, and killing people. Damn that is a good game!

And no, that purchase was NOT put on a credit card!

Drunk Driving is a Sport in Wisconsin!

From MSNBC... I wonder how much the government spent on this study? Whatever it was, I would have been more than happy to write this down for them for half the price. People in Wisconsin drink a lot? No, you're kidding me! And Minnesota too? No way! :)

It's in the 70's Now, Where is My Motorcycle?

For the first spring in recent history, except last year, I do not own a motorcycle. There is something that happens in my pea-sized brain when the snow melts, the sun comes out, and temps rise into the 70's. A love of mine that sits dormant in the winter suddenly comes back into my head and bugs me to death. I start trying to justify how owning a motorcycle could save me money (it won't), how I need a good hobby (there are less expensive ones), how much fun Missy and I would have riding it (we never get any free alone time), and how much my daughters want me to own and keep a motorcycle (well, score one for the kids). Delaney always says she wants me to keep one, that "Daddy only likes motorcycles that are broken". There is some truth to this, I tend to buy bikes that need work, fix them up and ride for a summer, then sell them.

The bike pictured above was my all-time favorite, at least that I owned. It was a 1987 Suzuki Intruder 1400 that I sold in 2005. Oh how I miss that bike. I form a strange love affair with these machines. The Intruder was my favorite to ride and look at.
My 1979 Yamaha 750 Triple was my favorite for the "old school" factor. These were dubbed "Triples" because they were unique in having 3 cylinders. To the best of my knowledge, only the Yamaha XS bikes and the Kawasaki Sceptre ever had 3 cyclinders.

While living and working in Florida in 2004, I bought this 2001 Kawasaki ZX6e Ninja as a theft-recovery bike. It needed a lot of work, which was fine, I had a lot of free time and needed a good hobby. I restored it to almost perfect condition and rode it to work almost every day. It was probably the fastest and best handling bike I ever owned, but only kept it for about 4 months. Because I was so cramped on the bike, I could only ride it about 10-15 miles at a time.

I have owned many other bikes over the years, including a 2001 Harley-Davidson Sportster, Suzuki Katana, another Ninja that I never rode, a Suzuki XS1100, Yamaha Virago. My first bike was a 1987 Suzuki GS450 that I bought new after graduating from high school. I learned to ride on a friends Kawasaki KZ400 when I was 16.

I could go on forever about motorcycles, but would probably drive my wife nuts if I rekindle this hobby. She is not real big on bikes, but hey, opposites attract, right?...

Rough Day?

I have realized that my blog has become way too serious and somewhat of a downer lately. This is not my intent. Sometimes you gotta remind yourself what is really important in life. Everyone is healthy, happy and enjoying the great Wisconsin weather that has finally turned from winter to spring. Birds are chirping, the snow is gone, the grass is turning green, the skies are blue.

And of course, dogs and cats sleep harmoniously on our couch after a hard day of... well, doing absolutely nothing. Life is good.

WTF Landsafe?

So just when everything is moving nicely on our home... I get a copy of the appraisal this morning, $268k! That is $17k less than our offer price, and $2k less than the couple living there for 4 years paid for the house! Now I realize that home prices in this area are flat, but they have not gone down, and for at least the first 2 years the home value should have gone up. Not to mention they finished the basement, adding a bedroom and another full bath.

So I start looking at the appraisal closely. 2 of the comps seem pretty fair, 1 seems totally bogus, a much older, smaller, ugly home on the wrong side of main street. Then I read further. The appraiser listed the home as a 3 bedroom 2 bath. It isn't, it's a 4 bedroom 3 full bath home. She only included the upstairs in the square footage measurements, even took a lot of pictures, but none downstairs. Did she even go down there? There is no downstairs living-area square footage included in the appraisal, even though there is over 1000 square feet of beautifully finished living area.

The appraisers name is Lynette Richter with Landsafe Appraisals. According to our lender, our only recourse is to have the real estate agent (who is also a licensed appraiser), contact her with a dispute showing better comps and try to get her to alter the appraisal. That, or we can come up with the difference between the offer price and $268k between now and closing. We are not going to be able to do that. The seller could lower the price, but I don't see that happening. We are probably out $350 and a lot of plans for the near future.

See why I am somewhat cynical of the entire process? I am normally a very upbeat and positive person, but I am finding it increasingly hard when dealing with banks, appraisers and real estate in general.

Appraisal Done, Still Waiting...

I received a bunch of legal documents in the mail today from the title company, nothing unusual there. It was written in "lawyer talk" so I scanned it and promptly filed it away. I talked to our Realtor (and friend), Lee Mayrack, and he informed me the FHA appraisal had actually happened yesterday. We have not yet received the results of the appraisal, but most likely will know something by Friday. Based on information in the title search documents, I am not really concerned any longer about the appraisal, since the home must have sold for at least $270k 4 years ago, and that was before the basement was finished. But I guess in this lovely Bush economy, anything could happen. Keeping our fingers crossed...

On a somewhat related note. I cannot say enough good things about Ford Motor Credit. We are saving as much as we can, and are really in no danger of not making the closing (financially at least), but I know there will be a lot of miscellaneous money spent following the move, buying a lawn mower, trimmer, etc. We will do the move ourselves, using my truck and Mark Shelton's (owner of Shelton's Bar and Restaurant) trailer. Having recently paid off our credit cards, I am not in the mood to charge these things.

So I called Ford yesterday and asked them if we could skip the May payment, tacking it on at the end of the loan. Not only did they immediately say YES, they even offered to let us do the same in June if we so desire. The customer service person that I spoke to was a real, live American, with no accent at all, and was very professional and friendly. She was in Michigan. Imagine that (Dell, Microsoft, Capital One, HSBC), a customer service person that is in America, speaks fluent English, and is nice. Ford just went up a notch in my book.

Home Virtual Tour

We found that the home we are trying to buy has a virtual tour, which is much better than pictures! Try it out here.

Offer Accepted! On to the Next Stage...

We are very excited, and it is hard to temper that excitement, but the reality of it is FHA home appraisals are historically very harsh. Don't get me wrong, we are thrilled that the sellers accepted our latest offer yesterday, but are scared to death of the next step.

Now we have all of the loan documents in our hands and they are going out tomorrow. With them is the $350 check for the appraisal, $350 we don't get back if the home does not appraise for what we offered. It should, but in the current economy with home prices going down, it is something we are afraid of. The Realtor is not afraid, he is quite certain it will appraise for at least our offer price. That offers a little relief, but not much.

This is also my first "full-doc" mortgage, but I guess that is the way these days. I have never scanned and printed so much documentation in my life. I have no doubt there is a blood sample and DNA request form in there somewhere. Oh, 1999 was a good year. Fill out an online form, get a date set for closing, show up. End of story. Can we elect Bill Clinton again? Damn the constitution!

So we probably won't know any more about the house for 2 weeks or so, whenever the FHA appraiser can get around to looking at it. So will all chill out in limbo, start saving even more cash than before, and wait. And wait. And wait. :)

Here are some pictures of what we hope will soon be our new home:

Offer Three, See Offer One

We made a fresh offer on the first home again. We just have not found a home we like as much as this one. Our realtor is more confident that this offer is sweet enough to make the seller move on it. We are hopeful and should hear something by Monday. They do have an open house scheduled for tomorrow, but it is supposed to be stormy here, let it rain! If they accept the offer, we will have to save about $8000 in the next 8 weeks. That is doable, but we will have to tighten down the purse-strings to pull it off. Hopeful once again.

Offer 2 Countered, Rejected

As I somewhat expected, though was hoping would not happen, the sellers of the home we placed our second offer on countered our offer with a poor one. We briefly considered revising it, then decided to flat out reject it. I just don't think they are actually trying to sell their home. They have had it listed several times since 2005, usually for short periods of time. In fact, just last year they had it listed for $259k, which means that even after Realtor fee's, they would have walked away from our offer with more money than they listed the house for last year! I just don't think their home appreciated $10,000 in the last year while everyone else's home went down in value. They can keep it forever for all I care.

There are officially no other homes on the market right now that we are interested in. So will will keep saving our money and hoping more come on the market between now and summer.

Offer Number Two

After looking again at a home we previously viewed, we decided to go ahead and make an offer on it. The big drawback was the backyard, which appeared to be very small. We drove by the house Saturday and started wondering where the property lines really were. Our realtor emailed us aerial photo's of the lot with the lines marked and we were very happy to see that the lot is MUCH larger than we originally thought. This makes a huge difference.

Again, we are a long way from home ownership, and while hopeful the current owner will accept our offer, we are doubtful that they will. I will write more in the blog very soon if they do in fact accept the offer, or counter with a reasonable deal. We still have to get past FHA appraisal, which from what we understand can be very difficult.

Offer Countered, Then Rejected

As I suspected, the owner of the home we made an offer for submitted a counter offer to us. They only took $5,000 of the price, which leaves $10,000 up in the air. We just don't think the house will appraise (FHA) for that value and decided to cancel our offer. Oh well, we will keep looking, keep saving, and keep those credit scores climbing!

We Made an Offer!

Tonight, Missy and I made an offer on a home I previously blogged about. We met with our realtor, Lee Mayrack, after work to look at one final home before making our choice. It was a nice home, and $50,000 cheaper, but just does not compare with the home we are hoping to get. They have until Sunday to accept, reject, or counter our offer. We are excited, but reserved, and I have to keep reminding everyone that we are FAR from done with this process, and this home, nice as it is, may not be the one we ultimately purchase.

Could It Be? A Mortgage? Just Maybe...

While I am/was on the verge of giving up on getting a mortgage in this day and age, a letter arrived today from RLCA congratulating Missy and me on our mortgage approval. I had contacted them last week, and called my broker today to verify what the letter said. He needed additional information, which I quickly gathered and sent via email to him. It appears that all is well, we really have been pre-approved for a mortgage, and it is enough money to purchase any of the homes we have looked at so far! I am trying to temper my excitement and hope with the reality that this is not yet a done deal, but I am excited.

Holy Shit, What a Ride!

My dad just forwarded me an email that reminded me of one of my favorite sayings. How true it is!

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit... What a Ride!'"

FICO Scores Are The Only One's That Matter

In some of my previous posts I mentioned that I pay for FreeCreditReport.com credit monitoring and scoring. I called yesterday to cancel our membership, it just isn't worth it. The credit scores they calculate are not even close to the Fair Isaac FICO scores, and when only pulling information from Experian (not TransUnion or EquiFax), you just are not getting the correct information.

The credit bureaus are damn slow at updating information, TransUnion and EquiFax are the worst, Experian somewhat faster. Nothing will happen quickly with these companies, even after you prove your case. Daily credit monitoring is a waste of time and money. Rather than using a service like FreeCreditReport.com, save your money and pull full reports quarterly using MyFico.com. FICO is the only score that matters, scores provided by the credit bureaus themselves are meaningless.

In case your are curious as to why the credit scores you see when you pull your own report are different from what lenders see when they pull the same report from the same agency, I will tell you. When a lender pulls your report, the information in it is passed through the Fair Isaac scoring software, which generates a real FICO score. FICO licenses their software to the credit bureaus, and receives money each time a FICO score is generated. Because the credit bureaus don't want to pay FICO when you request your own score, they invent their own scoring software, which is supposed to emulate FICO, but falls well short.

Yes, I think this should be illegal. You should have access to the exact same information and score that a lender can get on you, but you cannot, unless you use MyFico. FICO allows you to make "soft inquiries" into your credit report, which does not count against your score. I think they should have "soft scoring" too, which would allow a credit bureau to give you a FICO score without incurring charges from FICO. That would be fair.

Hell, the credit bureaus should be fighting for this as well, as it would make their scoring accurate and they could quit spending all the money the do on the programmers that generate scoring models that don't work. Now that is the first time I have ever advocated firing computer programmers!

You know what? I am a computer programmer, and a damn good one. FICO thinks their algorithm cannot be reverse-engineered. I disagree, in fact it does not look that difficult. Maybe someday if I have some free time on my hands (which won't be anytime soon), I will write a program that lets you scan your report and generate a FICO score for you for free. Then I will charge a lot of money for it and pay cash for my house, Cessna, Harley and Corvette. Yeah, that's the ticket.

The Perfect Home?

Tonight we looked at what we all agreed was the nicest home we have seen so far, one that we all really liked. Of course it was also the most expensive at nearly $300,000. It is a 4 bedroom ranch with a ton of small things that really makes it a great house. The basement is newly finished and was one the standout features. They built the 4th bedroom down there, a small office that would be perfect for me, a large family room, and a bar. A real nice bar. There is a storage/workshop area as well, all nicely done.

The only problem is the paint. I have never seen such a bad paint job in my life. The homeowners did it themselves, and I really have no idea why they were in such a hurry. We would have to repaint everything upstairs, but the downstairs looked a bit nicer. They also have the same POS Frigidaire dishwasher that we have now, which is so loud we only run it when we are not in the room, or even in the house.

The backyard is fairly large and backs up to another of Cross Plains' ridges, this time with huge rocks placed there by glaciers thousands of years ago. We could easily live in this house, it was great, after several weekends spent repainting. Their dog had torn some holes in the carpet upstairs, this would have to be replaced.

The biggest problem right now is getting financed. I got a nice 57 point boost in my credit score today, but apparently only with Experian. I talked to one of Century 21's mortgage guys and he pulled the credit himself. The score he got was lower than any of the scores we get through FreeCreditReport.com, much lower. Makes me wonder what I am paying for if the scores other people get are so much lower than what I get. I have a meeting with him tomorrow to discuss this, and am going armed with tons of documentation to prove that there is still a lot of incorrect information in our credit records. I am afraid I will have to get an attorney involved to clear some of this stuff up, I am at wits end.

The other problem is they are having an open house this weekend. As much as we loved this home, it is not likely to happen. Even our trip next week to visit family for Easter is in jeapordy, and probably will not happen (sorry dad). We are so focused on getting a home that we are just not allowing ourselves to spend the extra money. I am close to saying "Screw It" and just putting an end to the house hunt until next year. Between George Bush, the economy, credit crisis and God knows what else, the perfect time to buy a house may not be an option because the damn banks won't loan any money, unless you don't need it.